This is a lovely story, well written and tender, both heart warming and heartbreaking.
Ivy is a make-up artist and Fisher is a director, they get together and Ivy falls pregnant. Fisher stands by her sensing that despite their brief liaison he is falling for Ivy. She in turn is falling for him.
This is a story about how two people come together and form a relationship. They have their up and downs and awkward moments, meeting each others family , who to spend their first Christmas with and Frank, (Ivy’s brother) unexpected stay with them.
At times it looks as if events and circumstances are going to break them apart. El, Fisher’s best friends is dying, he has Huntingdon’s and Fisher has to deal with this as well as the rapidly approaching birth of his children. Not to mention directing his first film penned by a colleague.
Somehow the two of them forge ahead. The characters are warm and well drawn, the relationships depicted touching and the emotions pull at the heartstrings. I haven’t read a book for a long time that made me feel happy and sad by the end and I would love to know what happened to Ivy and Fisher a few years down the line!
5 out of 5
Author: mel
The way you look tonight by Richard Madeley
*Beware this review contains some spoilers*
This is a well paced thriller set in the US, the main action taking place in the Florida Keys. In the background is JFK and the looming missile crisis which means that the last thing anyone needs is a serial killer who seems to be able to slip the net at will.
The viewpoint comes from a variety of angles. Stella is the main character that centres the plot, a bright young thing with an interest in psychopaths due to her own difficult background. She flies out to start her doctorate but is taken to a BBQ at the beach with JFK and his handsome brother. Over the BBQ Stella’s expertise come to light and she is deployed to the keys to help the FBI unmask the killer.
Initially she meets resistance, she is female, young and has no credentials, however after a heated first meeting with the lead agent she establishes her knowledge and begins to be accepted. Despite her initial profile being successful in identifying the main characteristics of the killer he manages to escape. Being local he knows the area well and is able to assume a new identity but soon enough the net is closing in forcing him to escalate his end game. This he does and although the end felt a little rushed it is a satisfying conclusion. The characters are well drawn and I could imagine the two main investigators Stella and Lee combining their efforts in future investigations.
The only slight negative I felt was the relationship between Stella and Lee, this seemed a little obvious and cliche, however it does not spoil the plot and does give the characters a definite reason to want to see one another again and care what happens to the other.
I give this 4/5, a good read, especially on the beach!
Stay up with me by Tom Barbash
Short stories are notoriously difficult to write, and this is a cover to cover collection by the same author. I have to say it is really rather good. The stories have a melancholic air, bittersweet and touching, they leave you thinking about the messages they give about family and relationships. They look at different relationships and the way that people react to one another and to the actions of others.
The voices that develop in each story is individual and the stories can be read one by one or together. It is a collection that I would read again and find different facets in the story. They are written simply but contain deeper meanings.
My personal favourite in the collection was The Balloon Party. I think the most striking thing about the collection was that the protagonists were ordinary people you could meet anywhere in situations you could imagine yourself in. Well worth a read as it was a fascinating read.
5/5
Double Figures
I’m not sure how it happened, I think I blinked and missed it but 10 years have slipped by since Hpops arrived in the world. Yesterday we celebrated her birthday with bowling and a meal out. She was thoughtful and chose things Imp could join in with. She enjoyed helping her friend celebrate her upcoming birthday as well by swimming in her pool. We had one mishap, we forgot to take her cake to the restaurant but as she chose a huge slab of chocolate fudge cake as her dessert, and it was accompanied by the loudest rendition of Happy Birthday you will ever hear I don’t think she minded too much.
I found getting her an appropriate present this year the hardest thing. they call it the tween years for a reason! She still likes rainbow looms, lego and hama beads but on her wish list alongside this were items such as hair straighteners, phone and make-up! The house to too valuable to allow her to have hair straighteners and some glittery make-up from Claire’s ticked that item off the list, then there was the pretty dress, books and perfume. We did give her a phone! Mainly because we can get it bundled into an existing contract not costing much, partly because she is going to longer parties with friends now and also she wants to talk to them and, if we’re honest because we couldn’t think of anything else that she wanted!
School holidays seem to be passing fairly quickly, all three of mine did a stage crazy summer school where they learned a couple of songs, a dance and a drama piece and then performed them on the last day. It was a revelation for Imp who found he really loved it, and much to Hpops disgust wants to start the weekly classes in the new term! Pixie was as confident as ever and performed with a big smile on her face! Hpops too seemed to enjoy herself, delivered her lines with enthusiasm and even began to sing with more confidence. For a while she has spent a lot of time singing around the house. Mr T, who loves all things music has laid down a track for her to sing to and on her birthday she finally did!
The result was fantastic, she was nervous but when Mr T popped the headphones over her ears she relaxed into it and let her singing come more naturally, we know she can learn to control her breathing better and develop her microphone technique but it has done wonders for her confidence! She has written a song for her and her siblings and whilst we just want her to enjoy herself and feel the joy music brings.
Pixie has been making the most of the holidays, she loves singing too and this week we took all three of them to see Matilda, as they were also looking at the songs from this during their summer school she hasn’t stopped singing them since. It was great to see them all agog when we watched the show. I have to give credit to the girls, they have been great so far this holiday, we have had the odd day out but nothing too far away as Imp cannot manage yet and they have accepted this and been supportive. They have come to physio and hydrotherapy appointments and part from a few little moans have been encouraging.
Imp is progressing well and can walk about 5 mins before he needs his wheelchair now, the battle is convincing him to do his three sessions of physio exercises each day. When we go out the wheelchair comes with us but we are all getting used to that now and we try to go to places where the activities we want to access are within a couple of minutes walk so we don’t have to take the chair with us. The next consultant appointment is looming, one part of me wants to know how the bone is doing and the other doesn’t, in case, as we fear, the bone is still disintegrating and so the overall time for recovery will lengthen once more! It will all become clear next week, fingers crossed for regrowth. I have finally finished the first draft of a book for kids that I have been trying to complete for a couple of years and now intend to go back to writing the sequel to my first book! Look for that by the time Hpops is a teenager! I am hoping to resume my psychology studies imminently as well!
Then we come full circle, to the realisation that we now have a child in double figures, about to enter her last year of junior school and everything seems to be changing again. It makes me realise that just when you think you have this parent, kid thing worked out they get older, hormones kick in and of course they develop minds of their own! I’m still learning how to deal with the new challenges life brings us, but at the same time enjoying it.
Curious incident of the dog in the night time.
This weekend I was lucky enough to go to the Gieguld to see this. It was a remarkable piece of theatre. I have read the book and so I knew many of the major plot points, but my husband hadn’t and we both enjoyed the play.
The acting was superb, the portrayal of Christopher sympathetic to aspergers whilst managing to avoid bringing out only those elements which would have made the character become a caricature. The story itself stuck fairly faithfully to the events in the book. The set is minimalist the ensemble take on a number of roles and are on stage for much of the time. The use of people and the few crates is innovative and there are lots of hide holes around the walls of the stage and under the floor.
The use of lighting and music is also creative. The scenes where Christopher is frightened in the outside world succeed in immersing the audience in the action. As Christopher feels scared and claustrophobic then so do the audience, this is down to the electronic tones of the music, the building wall of noises and the frantic lighting effects on the digital wall at the back of the stage.
The scenes with Christopher’s parents are well played and highlight the frustrations they and Christopher experience. The story is a simple one which I won’t spoil for those who haven’t seen it but it is the nature of the characters that bring the drama to life. It does in the end have a feel good ending depending on your interoperation of the final lines of the play! Curious incident is immersive in the way it is staged, well acted and I would recommend it to those that are looking for something out of the ordinary. It isn’t Shakespeare or a musical but a serious piece of drama that will make you think. Well worth seeing.
Cast Away
Just over three weeks ago Imp had his cast removed. It wasn’t as traumatic as we expected as despite him being very nervous the staff at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital were once again fantastic. They reassured him about everything and talked to him about what they were going to do. Once it was done Imp flexed his knees a couple of time but decided it was too painful to move. Off to X-ray next to see the results of the surgery.
After meeting with his consultant who was delighted with the way the surgery had gone and was prepared him to be weight bearing again we were off to occupational therapy to return the large wheelchair! This was replaced with the wheelchair we already owned and a frame to support his walking once he was confident. We were told he needed to get up and about and to allow him to do as much as he could and work with his physiotherapist and hydrotherapist to build the muscles back up and begin to walk unaided.
Slowly but surely after some tough love and tears when he couldn’t see we managed to get him up and walking, one stair at bedtime became the whole flight in a matter of days. A few days after coming out of the cast Imp decided he wanted to try a few steps on his own, to be honest it was like watching a baby take his first steps and the emotions no less immersing. He took two awkward steps and fell forward into a hug with a massive grin on his face. It was a milestone. More and more steps followed but perhaps the pinnacle of his achievement to date was his taking part in a school swimming gala just three weeks out of cast.
He was determined to join in and he took part in two races, yes he came last but when he had done his width he had a massive cheer from the parents watching. He had got into the pool unaided, hadn’t needed the pole to grab onto and hadn’t touched the bottom during the race and got out by himself! This was for us massive and as I watched him come back to his chair poolside I had to swallow a huge lump in my throat.
Throughout the process of everything he has approached it with a positive attitude, he has had a smile on his face and while there have been difficult moments I have watched him, in the main, grow in maturity as he learns to manage his disease by himself. Following the swimming gala there was a school fete, he took the decision to attend in his wheelchair as he wanted to avoid being knocked over. Knowing what you can do independently and what you need to ask for help with is all part of it. We won’t know how much progress he has made in terms of the Perthes until the 12th August when we next see his consultant and he has an X-ray. Until then he will be attending physiotherapy and hydrotherapy at least twice a week as well as completing exercises at home.
To say the Perthes turned our world upside down would be an understatement but we can finally see Imp getting stronger and stronger despite his physiotherapist telling us that he is now -5 steps compared to where he was before surgery we know with his determined nature he will battle back to fitness. He wants to be able to join in with his sisters and now he is more mobile he is getting back into arguments with them and enjoying playing with his toys and relishing his own private bedroom space.
It hasn’t all been doom and gloom of course, only yesterday we had a family get together to celebrate Grandpa’s birthday. For the first time all five of his grandchildren were in the same place at the same time. Hpops was beside herself with excitement as she got to cuddle, feed and generally coo over her baby cousins. Today was the summer gymkhana and Hpops tried hard with her riding. Imp on the other hand visited the Queen Elizabeth Park to go to the F1 Fanzone. A VIP ticket had been arranged for him by a friend who had told them about his struggles and watching the video of him whizzing about in a Caterham, pedalling a cycle claiming it was physio and hearing the excitement in his voice as he recounted the events of the day fills me with joy. As we were sitting in the house yesterday listening to the children play with Meccano cars they had played and laughing their heads off we paused to consider how lucky we actually are.
Three wonderful children, a boy who gets on with what life throws at him and tackles it head on with a smile, two beautiful girls who are growing in confidence and ability in all areas of their life. Fantastic friends who have between them lifted both me, Mr T and the kids when we are down and who have gone out of their way to make Imp feel special in a good way. We have felt blessed to have people to pour our hearts out to and next week we attend the Perthes’ association charity afternoon which will enable all of us to speak to people who have been on the same journey as us. I feel this will be especially important for the girls as they have had to make adaptions to accommodate Imp. We have taken the decision to try and do things that all three children can take part in and this has meant the girls not necessarily doing all the things they would like to! Even so the family unit is beginning to bond again, and I have to say as I write I do feel happy to have such lovely people surrounding us and caring for us and hope at some point I get to return their kindnesses and lovely thoughts as all the treats they have given Imp have helped to temper the bad memories with good ones and for that I will always be grateful.
Halfway there!
Just over three weeks ago Imp had his operation on his hip, we were worried and after a prolonged stay in hospital (5 days instead of 2/3) he has made good progress.
A fortnight in we visited the nurse at the GP’s for a wound check, they were happy with his progress, removed the steri strips and for the first time I could see the actual incision. It wasn’t as red as I thought and as all of his stitches are internal there was nothing scary about it. He was also relieved to see this as a lot of his anxiety has been around fear of the unknown and a big hole in his leg!
This week is half term but last week was enrichment week at school and Imp was able to attend for three of the days. He had a great time at the Lego workshop, the zoo visit and the Sir Teachalot Egyptian day as well as the social side of seeing his friends and engaging in conversations that didn’t revolve around having to move him, going to the toilet or eating. We have been out and about to the local shops and with the dogs as well.
We have discovered that people react to him in a few ways, they either ignore him completely, leap out of the way as if his plaster cast is contagious, bend down and talk to him as if he is an idiot, look away and fidget because they feel uncomfortable around him or, thank goodness, treat him like he is him! He may be in a wheelchair but he isn’t deaf, or contagious or invisible! Perhaps the worst habit is people talking about him as if he isn’t there. Imp has started to realise this for himself and has on occasion interrupted and spoken for himself and whilst I don’t allow him to be rude I am glad he is assuring himself and speaking for himself, as he has such a good understanding of what is going on he actually explains things better than me, and as he says, no-one else knows exactly how I’m feeling!
Most of his peers have accepted him as he is and arguments have broken out about who will push him around! There are a few who are reluctant to approach, more for fear of hurting him, although once I have explained he is more likely to hurt them if he runs them over then they usually feel better about him. Indeed it is adults that seem to react the worst, even staring, he and I are happy to answer questions and much prefer talking to staring. It has made me admire those who cope with long term of life long disability much more, I have only had a small dose of the ignorance of some people who cannot process those who are outside the ‘normal’ mode and that has been more than enough.
From a practical point of view we are coping well, we have devised a way of getting in and out of the car, he is beginning to be able to scoot around on the floor and transferring from place to place is getting easier and easier. My initial trepidation about being able to move him and get him where he needs to be has all but evaporated. Of course it takes extra time to get him to places, we can only fit him and the girls in the car so as a family of five we need two cars to get around or we tend to walk or stay at home. I have numerous grazes from his plaster cast and wheelchair having fought to secure him and it in the car but the smiles of achievement when he does something, gets to join in with something or even just has a few minutes out of the house make it all worthwhile.
Rain has played havoc with plans as he has anxieties about getting his cast wet after someone told him it would tun into play -do if he got it wet, but bin bags have proven to be a cost-effective way of going out in light rain and him not melting! I can’t pretend there haven’t been moments of frustration and annoyance both from him and me but each day is a day nearer to being rid of the cast, of course it isn’t a magic wand and it won’t cure his problem overnight but it will help.
Next week is his birthday and he is a bit upset about being in cast for it, we have bought lots of Lego which we hope he’ll like and a Kindle and he is off to Brands Hatch for Speedfest, something I had booked before we knew he needed his operation. I was worried when I found out about his op and thought that he wouldn’t be able to go but a quick call and his ticket was changed to allow him access to a grandstand seat with disabled access. We still don’t know if he can go to school for the next two weeks and from that point of view things have been awkward.
Imp and I both want to be as normal as possible, for me work has not been possible as i have been caring for him but I am hoping that if he returns to school I can return to work as we will both be based in the same place but we’ll see! Whilst we are not really counting down at the moment we will be once his birthday next week has been and gone and I am sure that as the day gets nearer excitement will start to build rather than the trepidation that took over before the operation. Of course there will be a certain amount of worry, there will still be a number of hurdles to jump over, the x-ray, the removal of the cast itself and the remaining recovery time be it on crutches, in a less cumbersome wheelchair or the physiotherapy and hydrotherapy but we are beginning to feel we are up to the challenge.
A final word has to go to the parents and supporters of the Perthes Association as the parents on there are very encouraging as well as a source of information. Imp is looking forward to the summer get together as in his words ‘I can meet people like me!’ It struck me how aware he must be of how different he is at the moment and how others are looking at him, it also struck me that while I have been suffering with cabin fever I have managed to escape for a run with Hpops and so on, he hasn’t been so lucky and so I pay tribute to his resilience and praise just how well he has coped with being so restricted. As much as I hate seeing him go through this I am also incredibly proud of him and as well as improved biceps he has shown me what a strong person he is! Well done Imp!
Perthes operation
My son Imp was diagnosed with Perthes disease in late December 2013, at the time it wasn’t considered to be too bad and was treated with hydrotherapy, physiotherapy and withdrawing from high impact activities such as football, rugby and running. This was for an active seven year old boy punishing enough but my little imp accepted it all with good grace and got on with it, continued to limp and yet seemed to enjoy his treatment particularly the hydrotherapy. I was amazed at how well he coped with so many of the things he loved to do being taken away so quickly. What struck us as well was how quickly he went from always being at the front of the queue and out in the lead when we went anywhere to having to rely on his wheelchair to get him up the hill from the local shops.
It was with some trepidation that we attended his three month check-up, we knew that the way Perthes progressed meant that in all likelihood the condition would worsen before it improved and that normality was unlikely to return to him for at least a year and possibly two. What we discovered however was that the femoral head had deteriorated to an extent that it was no longer contained in the hip. Our consultant therefore referred us to a colleague for a second opinion regarding surgery. Things moved quickly and within a week we were sitting in another hospital waiting room to meet the new consultant. He was to the point, examined imp and thought that surgery was necessary but to be sure needed an arthrogram which was performed 10 days later. The results were apparently good showing surgery would be a success and hopefully secure Imp a better long term outlook and healing.
The operation, a femoral osteotomy involved cutting a notch out of the femur, repositioning it and securing it with a plate and screws, and in Imps case keeping both hips abducted in a broomstick cast for 6 weeks. The surgery happened on the 1st May. The night before I hardly slept and during the morning before he went to theatre I was a wreck. I went into the anaesthetic room with him and he as fine until just before the anaesthetic went in when he began to panic. If I am honest I was terrified of seeing him after the operation, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to control my feelings when I saw him with his legs cast but when I did see him I held it together and it wasn’t as bad as I had feared.
the first night in hospital was horrific, imp was suffering cramps and somewhere in the small hours screamed his casts were squeezing him. Being in an orthopaedic hospital you become strangely used to hearing cries of pain but when it is your own son telling you to help him and squeezing your hands it becomes real. In the morning it was discovered that the leg was swollen and the cast needed to be split, this led to a full on panic attack, I held him and tried to reassure him but in the end I just had to be there for him. Pain relief was upped and in exhaustion he slept, I wept and then we started again. The cramps continued but the swelling reduced and Saturday proved to be a brighter day with Imp eating and suffering less with movement. Eventually he came home on Monday, it was a feat to get him in the car but we were so glad to have him home.
I had missed the girls terribly, they had been looked after wonderfully by their grandparents and been to visit Imp in the hospital but at last we were together which was comforting but also terrifying. Could we cope with moving him? What if the pain increased again? Could we handle the sleeping arrangements. We are only two days in but already Imp is only having paracetomal, he has his own bed and things around him. He has his beloved dogs and is slowly rediscovering his appetite. He has learnt to help to take his weight so he can now transfer from wheelchair to bed and back or to the sofa and so on so that one person can assist which means Mr T can return to work.
I fear boredom will begin to set in as he is now rather alert, he has been making the most of mine craft, TV, X-box and so on but we are now re-introducing some school work and we are hopeful that he will soon be able to attend again, even if on a part time basis, as it will help to keep us all same. We are all counting the days until the cast comes off, we know he may still have to use a mixture of crutches and wheelchair for a further six weeks, as well as resuming his physiotherapy and hydrotherapy regime but he seems to be showing great resilience so far. We are taking it each day at a time trying to ensure that we don’t push too hard but encourage him to go for the next step.
At this moment we have no idea how long the Perthes will take to be completely gone and how it will affect his hip long term, he could require further remodelling or even a hip replacement at some time but we are hopeful that the surgery he has just had will help to avoid these outcomes. Yes I will always remember those dark hours in the hospital when his little face was screwed up in panic and pain, but hopefully he won’t, hopefully he will realise that we did the best we could for him and helped to support him through what will undoubtedly be the hardest thing he has dealt with so far in his little life. Not to mention having to support the girls and ensure that they can express their feelings.
We have been blessed with lovely friends and family who have rallied around with offers of help and have made not only him feel special, spoiling him with cards and gifts as but helped me by responding to my desperate posts on Facebook with messages of support. It means more than people realise to see and x and know someone has read what you have written and thought of you, even for a few seconds and felt some empathy. The messages for Imp himself brought rare smiles in those first couple of days and now he seems so much more settled it seems odd thinking back to just a week ago! There is still a long road ahead but for now we are grateful he is over the surgery itself and can now heal and recuperate.
Thanks also to the Perthes Association, a small charity that supports families with children suffering from this condition offering lots of advice and support, the people on there certainly helped us to prepare for the surgery and coming home. I have also to say that the staff at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital were very good and supportive, they listened to us and took action where necessary and got us through the dark days.
For those of you who’d like to know more about Perthes have a look at the Perhtes Association website and in the interests of fundraising if you feel you can help please text PERT10 (£10 or change the number to whatever you can afford) to 70070.
Life is full of opportunities but also likes to catch us out as my little Imp has discovered but as he looks forward to getting his cast signed and returning to school I marvel at how brave he is, how he accepts the situation and gets on with it in a way I think I never could and I pray for the patience and strength to give him the support he needs in the harder times. Count down to cast off and walking again starts here…
Dinosnores at the Natural History Museum
On a chilly evening in March, myself, my seven year old son, twelve of his classmates and about 220 other children headed to the Natural History Museum. We were going for a sleepover which began once the museum was closed. Our group was checked in and we were shown to a sleeping place where the group would be together, we were very near Dippy the diplodocus in the great hall. We set up camp, we had a mat provided and had brought pillows and sleeping bags with us so it didn’t take too long to do. The kids we were with changed into their matching onsies, this proved to be a brilliant way of locating them as they were easy to spot!
My son was using his wheelchair, he can walk short distances but the information had said you would cover a lot of ground – and we did. The staff on arrival talked to myself and him about the activities to ascertain what he could and couldn’t do but were not condescending and did not make him feel isolated or different.
Three activities took place, the first was a hunt around the dino hall in the dark. The children were given torches and a sheet and worked in teams to find hidden letters and then had to unravel the letters and find the correct skeleton. Then outside they were given some information about the dinosaurs they had been searching for!
The next activity followed after a break and was t-shirt decorating with a bit of art and palaeontology thrown in, the t-shirts were then put away for when we left and the children could bring them home. Our last activity for the evening came round and this was in the theatre and was all about insects, death, and so on and the children loved it, and I learnt some things as well. Following this it was bedtime, we went and cleaned out teeth and bedded down, at around midnight all the lights were turned off and we all went to sleep…
… well we tried, but with all the nosies, giggling and children complaining they couldn’t sleep, the dinosaurs looking at us and the hard floor we tried to sleep, we did get some sleep but not much, by seven we were all up and dressed and packing up. We took all our bags back to the arrivals area and headed to breakfast, everyone had the same – raspberry and white chocolate muffin, banana, flapjack, orange juice and for the adult s tea and coffee! Then it was time for the animal man, he talked about a range of animals and had some . He was great with the children and they quickly warmed towards him.
I have to say it was fun despite the lack of sleep and if you get the opportunity to go the children will love it! You can stay and look around the museum if you want to after the sleep over and we spent about half an hour visiting a couple of the galleries before heading home. My son had a great time and retained a lot of the information he was given, a great experience if you get the chance.
Adventures in Perthes
It’s been such a long time since I managed to blog and such a lot of things have happened. I have two new nephews and they are both getting on OK. They were born eight weeks early and the youngest has had problems but is fighting hard, the bigger one is out of hospital and making good progress. My job is going well and I feel like I am getting to grips with it and I have made myself some plans for writing but I am struggling to keep up with those, deadlines keep getting moved backwards!
If it my little Imp that is causing the most concern. He was diagnosed with a condition of the hip called Perthe’s and this affects the femoral head. We researched and felt we had a good understanding of the condition and were prepared to deal with the physiotherapy, hydrotherapy and mobility impairments that would result for the next couple of years. We attended his most recent appointment with the consultant just last week, and in line with expectations we were told that his femoral head had continued to deteriorate. What we weren’t expecting was a recommendation for surgery as it is now feared that the bone, when it enters the regrowth stage is that it won’t grow correctly.
So it was with trepidation that we journey to another different hospital yesterday to see a consultant for a second opinion as our usual one didn’t want to commit to surgery until this had happened, this consultant concurred. He described the hip as not in a good place, the Perthes as severe and his movement very restricted, we had been aware of the downwards trend for out Imp as he is struggling to walk far and can’t keep up and has been asking to use his wheelchair more often! Thank you to the people who helped us traverse stairs with the wheelchair as it helped us out. Next week Imp has to undergo a surgical procedure for diagnostic purposes, dye will be injected and his range of moments tested under anaesthetic so that his suitability for surgery can be checked.
If surgery is then considered his best option then another bigger operation will follow and this will render him pretty much immobile for six to eight weeks as he will be in a double leg cast! For him, this is of course a very scary proposition and the outcomes of far from guaranteed! Like anything waiting is the worst thing, at least when you know what you are facing you can find ways of coping with what is going to follow, until then your mind can only run away with the different possibilities and outcomes.
Life has changed, we are no longer simply getting up and going off somewhere for an adventure during the holidays, we have to check if Imp can participate, if there is something he can do that won’t upset him as it reminds him of what he can’t do. Of course, there is the light at the end of the tunnel, that even with surgery he should heal and be able to exercise again in a couple of years, but for a 7, nearly 8 year old boy that is a long time not to be playing football with his friends, or going to a party and even running around in the park. It occurred to us watching him trying to play in the garden with a ball how much life had changed. There was a time when he would unthinkingly fling himself about on the ground, taking no care, now every movement is considered and he often guards when out and about to avoid his joints hurting.
Hpops and Pixie as well have had to adjust to what he can now do, as well as attending hospital appointment and sometimes missing out on things they want to do because we need to attend various appointments. So it is that we approach Easter with fear and hope about next week, that I vow once again to try and write more, work more and be happy with the kids but at the same time know that for the time being things here have changed and we need to use our strength to get him through!
I should also say thank you to all those who have stuck with us, helped out with the kids, talked me through things and shared their positive stories and thoughts and included my little Imp in things so he doesn’t feel so isolated! One thing you learn when your family faces adversity, there are those that stick by you, step up to the plate and help out and those that fade into the background, I only hope that for those that step up I can return the favour, sometimes just a hug or a kind words is enough and I am grateful for everything people have done to help. I try to face the future in a positive manner and hope that we can guide him through this with the minimum amount of pain and that it makes us a stronger family.