Category: Blog

So another new year has whizzed by and we find ourselves knee deep in the first week of 2017. Even the children have been commenting on how quickly the time is passing! I think that when you’re an adult time seems to pass quickly because you’re always busy getting ready for the next event, getting the children to where they need to be and so on. The children on the other hand find time slower because they are waiting for the next thing to come up. As they have got older and taken on more responsibility time has of course ‘sped up’ for them and they are spending their time doing things rather than waiting for them!

That is of course unless they happen to have some sort of device in their hands, it could be a remote control, a phone, tablet or game controller but then time stands still. It has very strange physical effects, their hearing is restricted to just the game, app or programme. Their responses are limited to yes, no or some sort of undefined noise! It can lead to tantrums and nearly always results in one of shouting to get their attention or a fight between siblings as someone interfered, and caused them to lose a game or some such other related disaster.

I have come to realise that their childhood is vastly different to my own due to the technology available and with the rise of VR and immersion technology it may be possible for their children to completely switch off from reality! Pokemon has been a great example of this! Strange alien animals that appear at random intervals for you to catch. It has got the children out and about and they have been less bored and that does bode well but at the same time it begins to take over- the kids are desperate to find a particular pokemon and fight about where to go to catch the best ones! Gone are the times when curfew was when it got dark. When I was a kid I ‘d be out on my bike with my brother and our friends and we’d go to the park or ‘play our’ on the nearby green and come home when it was dark. We didn’t have phones or pagers and no one knew where we were sometimes but it didn’t occur to us to be worried about it.

Today I struggle to let the kids go out on their own, Hpops does now walk home and even though her school is roughly the same distance away as my school used to be when I was her age, I insist on a text if she is walking home. I can track her progress and with Imp getting ready to join her in senior school next year that means more worrying about safety and so on. Maybe it is another difference between being a child and an adult, when I was a child I was unaware of the possible danger I was in. The men waiting to carry unwary children off in their vans, the cars that could run us down at any moment and so on! Today I am well aware of all the problems that could assail my children and am desperate to keep them safe. Everywhere seems to hold peril and even with the technology now available seem to be convinced that something terrible will happen to them.

I am getting better, Hpops has proven that she can get herself from a to b and I think that what I have come to realise as an adult is that you can teach your children the right way to act, how to cross a road and so on but you cannot control other people and you cannot legislate for events -I think if anything 2016 has taught us that anything can happen, good and bad and unpredictable so take opportunities to do new things and get out and about. We have therefore been allowing the children to do more things on their own. Pixie seems to be in a rush to grow up despite me telling her that it isn’t as much fun as she thinks it is!

In terms of technology we have decided to live with it, we have given the children some rules, some jobs they must do at weekends and school holidays to ensure they they get fresh air, exercise and reading and so on done before they surrender themselves to the world of games and apps! Homework must be done, music practice completed and so on during term time! That is of course well and good until they need the devices to do their homework and with the growth of technology it is now possible for homework to be set and submitted via the schools’ virtual learning platform.’ Now I have to be on the ball – checking they are actually doing what they claim to be doing and not watching the next You tube video or playing minecraft.

SO for 2017 we have no ideals set, yes I want to write more, I want to teach more, I want to have quality time with the family but that hasn’t changed since forever. Maybe this year I will do it but that remains to be seen! I am not going to try and live up to an ideal created by society to be a certain size or weight I’l instead just be happy as I am. I will take the kids out and about and encourage them to try new things and of course the main thing is we’ll try to be happy!

So it doesn’t seem like long until the summer holidays will be upon us. Half term has just arrived and once they return it will be a whirl of sports days, parents evenings and other school events. Then come the long summer holidays, although these are fairly well taken care of in terms of the dreaded ‘I’m bored!’ or reliance on devices for entertainment. The kids want to go to stage crazy summer school and they also want to attend an activity week based at their school. This involves various sporting events, fun games and swimming and hopefully good weather although there are also art and crafts activities to keep the children occupied. With those booked and our family summer holiday that only leaves a couple of idle weeks. We need some time to recharge and rest as well as a few trips to the park and so on.

It is hard to believe that this time next week I will have two children in double figures, the eldest of whom is rapidly approaching her teenage years! The time seems to have whizzed by and it is hard to credit that this time last year we were worrying about her transition to senior school and all that it entailed. Of course it hasn’t all been plain sailing, but, on the whole I think she has had a good year. We’ll get her report in the next couple of weeks so maybe further comment after that, but after the initial half term of confusion, forgotten items and of course her broken finger things have been much more settled. Indeed Hpops seems to have developed more confidence, tried out new things like orienteering and generally begun to blossom.

The adventure starts again in September as Imp makes his move into Year 6. We take him to tour the senior school in a couple of weeks, although he has been there before this will be his first visit as a potential student! Exams to come and forms to fill in will follow shortly. This time it all seems a little less daunting, we have an idea of what to expect as Hpops has already lit the way and I am sure by the time Pixie gets there we will feel like we are old hands. That is not to say we take it lightly. One thing we try to keep in mind is that all our children are individuals and we have to make the right decision for that child rather than just follow on from what we have done before.

I have really enjoyed being back in the classroom this year, and have pushed my own knowledge having taught the younger children. From September I don’t have any regular work lined up, I do have the kids book pretty much ready to publish but even that can take time. One problem with the amount of teaching I have been doing is that the time I have for writing has been greatly reduced. This is because I have also been studying, I have completed a course about Autism and have been working through an OU psychology course as well. Squeezing in some of the free learn courses is also proving difficult but luckily a lot of these are repeated and can be picked up then. The girls have found a new riding school and Pixie looks set to come off of the lead rein while Hpops has an assessment lesson to see which class she should go into to ensure progression. We still plan to visit some of the horses from their previous riding school which are now based at a local horse sanctuary.

Tentatively I have begun running again, so far so good, well if you count aching for two days afterwards good! Even the kids have been getting in on the act, something we never thought we would be able to say about Imp.Just last week he went on a 3 day residential with school and was able to tackle an assault course and took a full part in lots of other activities. Whilst the Perthes hasn’t fully resolved yet and we know there are still some potential for trouble in the years ahead, at the moment Imp is making good use of his growing fitness and strength. We have his next appointment in the next couple of weeks but we are hopeful that good news will follow, although the usual apprehension will begin to build as the appointment approaches!

It is funny as although the children don’t need us in the same ways as they did in the beginning things sometimes still seem hard at times. We are currently negotiating the hormone highways and with increasing years comest the desire for more freedom and responsibility. We have tried to be enabling in the sense of letting them have some freedoms but tempering it with safety conditions and so on. All the same we are still told we are being mean or unfair or even on occasion ruining their lives because everyone else is doing it. The biggest problem at the moment seems to be social media, the kids want to be on it but we have said no! We have pointed out to them that age limits are there for a reason but they do seem to think we are making it up just to annoy them!

Still the year ahead promises much! New adventures and experiences and also, hopefully a new book and maybe if I can find one a new job (hopefully one that involved teaching and writing fiction combined!)

So January is fast fading as February approaches. A brief spell of excitement was experienced as snow was forecast, what resulted could charitably be called a dusting and the excitement faded. Looking at the US at the moment fairly pleased! The cold weather at least saw an end to the depressing grey clouds and drizzle for a while and although theses are due to return soon I can honestly say it was nice to have solid ground under my feet when I walked the dog rather then squelchy mud.

The kids are all at various stages of cold, I even had Pixie off last week as she was so bunged up and tired she was in danger of falling asleep! Imp is now suffering and I think hoping for a day off. Indeed over the weekend his coughing got so bad I was getting worried. Hoops had a few days in Wales last week as an activity trip. She was dreading it at first, but it turns out she seems to have enjoyed it. I did not so much enjoy the washing and mud she bought back with her but hopefully it has helped her to build bona. She is hoping to spend her lunchtime participating in a school choir and discussion group for the first time this week so hope she enjoys it. She has also been struggling with her own self image, maybe as a result of the trip.

She has labelled herself a geek, can’t say there is anything wrong with that but she says she finds it hard to make new friends and when she sees groups of people she wants to join in but doesn’t know how, I gave her some advice, no idea if it will be of any help but all she can do is be herself. I did tell her that the people she regards as friend should like her for her and she should like them for them and care about them and hopefully then they will all be happy.

Writing has been progressing (slowly!) Tennis has proved a distraction and more time at work, my psychology course officially starts this week and I have been looking into how to complete my SENCO qualification and think I am not in a place where I can start making equiries about joining a course this September or next.

Part of the prevarication problem is my need to feel in control and make lists, this can take up a lot of time, particularly when unwell children and unexpected events crop up and disrupt the list that then has to be redone. To combat this I have made a loose timetable with the caveat that it is a basic idea. If things change, I get called into work or the kids need my attention then plans can changed without me feeling as if I have failed myself. The kids novel is about 50% typed up, editing the first draft into the second as I go. Tumbles 2 is up next and then we’ll see. I have been fitting in some exercise and short pieces in between as well.

Generally things are OK, the February half term is already looking busy, the summer holiday is filling up nicely, I don’t want them sitting around playing Minecraft for the whole time so booking in an activity camp, acting school and we get to go on holiday as well, with still having enough time to re-charge the batteries. Bring on February when routine should bed in and maybe I’ll even finish that draft!

I am concerned, I was concerned before the atrocities in Paris but I think they cemented my unease. We all accept the world is dangerous, every time we drive a car or cross a road there is an element of danger. For most of us however, a meal out on a Friday night does not represent one of the riskiest things you can do. But for those who were out yesterday in those unfortunate venues they became dangerous and deadly. Trying to explain what happened to an 11,9 and 7 year old before they saw or heard anything about it was difficult.

Hoops was thoughtful and said little, Imp went into panic mode, he is already convinced that IS are coming here and Pixie burst into tears. She, like many of us cannot understand how any religious belief or any God could condone such horrific actions. Out of the mouths of babes they say, and for sure her take on it is that; these people just want to hurt people who are not like them. Why? Imp doesn’t want to go out, in his opinion staying in = staying safe!

But for the first time it made me really think about my own actions and plans. When the bombings happened in London and the Blitz spirit kicked in I was determined to carry on as usual. For the very first time however yesterday I considered not going to something and not doing something. Next week I am due to make a visit to the O2 for my favourite thing – ATP tennis! I want to go but it made me think – maybe I should just stay at home and watch in on the TV. If the terrorists can get to the national stadium in France why not the O2 or Wembley? We are due to go the theatre a couple of times – what if the theatres are targeted or the underground stations or the restaurant we choose beforehand.

Then I felt ashamed and angry. There is a risk in everything, what if the train stops and gets stuck in a tunnel, what if I fall over on the way to the seat the O2 is steep after all, what if… But one thing that is clear is this – if I don’t go to the tennis or the theatre or shopping and nothing happens I will feel ridiculous. Yes, atrocities have been carried out and I am convinced that more are planned for a variety of places as IS (who have claimed responsibility) have apparently stepped up their terror campaign. However, no-one knows where or when they will strike next and that is what inspires the culture of fear. Of course there will be more cells, of course there will be more attempts for mass casualty events of innocent people – they create publicity, column inches but hopefully they also bring most of humanity together. Look at social media turning into the French colours, look at those coming together to pray, look at people carrying on. Yes there is risk, maybe a little more than before -maybe not – we have to trust to the security forces and let them do their thing. Giving in however cannot be an option, not going to tennis, the theatre, the restaurants, staying in ensures we won’t be victims of terrorism in the physical sense of the word. In the psychological sense of the word not doing these things makes us all victims. Staying in, being scared are all real feelings, I’m scared, I hate the world my children are growing up in and the way they are scared to go to big cities in case there are people with guns. But not doing these things gives the terorrists what they want. It changes us and the way we live if we stay in!

Not going out shows we’re scared, cancelling events shows we’re scared, that the risk of something happening is scarier than trying to carry on and stage events. I received an e-mail from the O2 reassuring me that the tennis events were going ahead but to expect extra queues to get in, that’s fine. I’m sure I’ll moan(sorry!) when I’m standing in the queue but I’ll remember (later) that they are keeping me safe. We can be sure that there will be more security scares and evacuations than usual as we all become hyper-vigilant but remember – you are living your life. Yes there is a risk, and we all hope there are no similar attacks to the ones Paris has experienced but worrying about it, avoiding events won’t stop them happening (if they do!) but missing out will definitely impoverish your life, stop you doing what you want to do. Standing with Paris means carrying on as best we can. I’m angry too, angry with myself for considering changing my plans. I really hope nothing happens anywhere else, but if it does I hope we can show the same bravery in carrying on because by giving in we lose anyway. In the meantime I trust to the governments that the world has elected to decide what to do on an international scale. I hope that those who are thinking of committing similar atrocities come to their senses and that someday the world will become once more something I am glad the kids are in rather than worrying that by the time they are my age it will be a war zone.

Sometimes it is said truth is stranger than fiction! Last night at approximately 730pm that appeared to be true for those living in the Shenfield and Hutton area. Mr T had just returned home from work, the bath was running for the kids and nothing untoward appeared to be happening. Then out of nowhere there was an enormous bang, the house shook and none of us could explain what had just happened! It wasn’t the boiler, Hpops dancing or Imp and Pixie dropping something expensive!

We checked the house, wasn’t us and none of our immediate neighbours appeared to be the source either. We couldn’t smell smoke or see flames and so there was no obvious source! Neighbours gathered outside, after a few minutes we could hear sirens. We checked on those who may be alone and scared but were still none the wiser. A friend had called 101 and they didn’t seem to know what the cause of the explosion was either. They had sent police and fire services out to investigate but no-one seemed to know what was going on. There was apparently no obvious signs of damage or disruption from the source and so the whole thing was rather confusing.

What did strike me was the sense of community that evolved from the situation -maybe fleetingly but even so it was there. Neighbours checked on one another. People went to explore to see if the area was safe and fed back information to each other. We allowed the kids to go out on their bikes with us and they were all a bit shaken by the noise and wanted to see for themselves that there was nothing to worry about! Several people wearing pyjamas and dressing gowns were peering outside or looking around for an explanation. There was a brief feeling of being part of the secret seven as we explored with our neighbours areas that suddenly, in the dark seemed to take on a more mysterious air as we searched for the cause of the loud noise.

The official line is that it was a fire that someone had added petrol to causing the explosion although it seemed a lot louder and more dramatic than that! Indeed my own personal favourite conspiracy theory is that it was a jet being tested by the armed forces causing a sonic boom. The truth is no-one yet seems to know for sure – the police helicopter was out again this morning, presumably flying over the area to see if they can see any damage. Earlier reports that it was a sub-station going pop seem to have come to nothing, so we will have to await more information. Insert spooky music here and remember that the truth it out there!