Tag: Kids

All change

Last week two of the children finished phases of their education. Pixie is moving onto the juniors and Hpops will be starting her journey in senior education in September. It hardly seems possible that they have both grown up in what seems like the blink of an eye. It is traditional at their school to have a Year 2 leavers assembly. As I watched Pixie I couldn’t help but remember the time four years ago when her sister had stood on the benches singing hymns and was collecting her mug and certificate. How could it now be Pixie moving on? It honestly doesn’t seem like four years can have gone by so quickly.

Imp moves up the upper echelons of KS2 in September, and seems to be most worried that Pixie will annoy him and his friends when she shares a playground with him once again. I have to admit I was very sad that Pixie was leaving KS1. For the last eight years we have had at least one child in the infant part of the school. They have all loved it and all been upset when they have had to leave the staff that make it so special for them. It will seem odd (if welcome) to drop them all off at the same time and, for the most part collect them all at the same time. I am hoping this means a lot less waiting around in the car -either baking or freezing!

Drop off will be around 8 as the little two can go to the early morning club while Hpops can be dropped and walk up to the senior school. On the way home she can walk back to meet us or go to homework club, we’ll see how her organisation comes along. I am more worried about the journey ahead as now I am approaching the part of education which I am less familiar with. When I have been to meetings at the school I can’t help thinking how big it is and confusing and wondering how on earth she will be able to find her way about if I can’t. On a recent visit there I discovered a hall I never knew existed as it is hidden between lots of English and History classrooms!

Of course having talked to a fair few of the students it seems that by the end of the first couple of weeks they pretty much know where they’re going, and indeed around this time the parents are invited to school to see how they are settling and see what extra curricular things they would like to participate in. Early indications are good as they actively encourage the children to try lots of things out and discover for themselves what they are good at! As an August birthday though she will still be the youngest in the class and whilst I am sure she will hold her own it does seem a big gulf, she turns 11 in a few weeks and some of the children will celebrate turning 12 within a week or two or returning to school!

I am hoping that Hpops will embrace the new opportunities on offer and gain some new experiences and confidence. Pixie, a child not short of confidence certainly is – she wants to do everything she can; dance, yoga, fencing, gym on top of riding and theatre school at the weekends. We don’t want her to overdo it and with violin as well she needs some downtime as well as time for homework and practice! We’ll see how she gets on. Imp is also looking forward to the new term with his new found ability to join in after a goof recovery from his Easter surgery! He wants to return to fencing and renew his interest in football, plus LAMDA and viola.

I think perhaps I am more worried than they are about their transitions. I feel as if the influence that was once guiding them has been wrestled away. Certainly I now see Hpops caring what her friends are doing, wearing, saying. Perhaps one of the scariest thing is the instant nature of the world they are growing up in. When I was their age we didn’t have mobile phones and iPads where you could instant message everyone to tell them what you are doing, or send a selfie so you can show your friend the dress you’re thinking of buying! I think as Hpops moves to ‘big school’ I feel less needed, and more superfluous. Obviously to some extent they need me, and I am here for them whatever they do need, but at the same time I am starting to look towards my future.

I have been privileged to watch them grow up, be there to hear about their triumphs and wipe away their tears when things haven’t gone right, and for the next fours years for Pixie this will still be the case. As we head rapidly towards the teenage years however I am writing more, studying more and working in school a bit more with a view to increasing this as they need me less, hopefully that way we can all grow together.

All Change!

When I was not much older than Hpops I had life sorted. I was going to be a teacher, get married, have two children – a boy and a girl, and write a book for children and make my million allowing me to live in a big house with a huge willow tree with a bench underneath it!

So – I am a teacher, I have written a book, although it is for adults and written the first draft of a book for children, however millions – not even in pennies and I have realised how naive the idea of making millions from writing is. Instead of two children I have three although we do have at least one boy and one girl. The house is large but the willow is an oak and the azalea I fell in love with in our old house is still missing and there is no bench underneath! We are putting a willow tunnel in the garden for the kids so that sort of counts, can sit in it I guess!

I am still writing! The draft of the kids books needs typing and Tumbles 2 is well underway. I have two other books in note form, one for tweens. This is the book that I have always wanted to write since I was small and now have the experience and research to support it. The issue – even when it is written I am not sure I will be able to release it – what if no-one likes it? The book that I feel has been my best idea ever. To be honest I am not sure I can afford to worry about that, I want to write, maybe I even need to write it before I can move forward. I have another book I stated waiting for National Novel writing month and although I hit the word count I never finished it!

The problem is I am a self-professed prevaricator and so to solve this I have started setting myself time limits. It is the one way I can ensure I knuckle down to something and get it done. I have added an app on the phone and i-pad which tells me off if I miss a deadline and so no more prevaricating! Perhaps the most exciting development of recent days is the one I have made to re-train. I love teaching and the energy the children bring. I love it when they ‘get’ something and I know I have helped them to get it but for now it isn’t working.

The kids need me at the moment, Imp has his Perthes to contend with. This is on the mend and hopefully following his Easter surgery he should be able to return to everyday activities on the 12th May. He will still require physiotherapy and perhaps some hydrotherapy while his hip continues to recover. Who knows he may even require further surgery but at the moment things are healing well and we hope he will avoid it! Pixie is moving on to junior school this September and Hpops to senior school! Despite this their holidays still differ and so to work full time is difficult and with the puppy not necessarily the best choice. I have looked at a couple of schools with job share opportunities but with Mr T working long hours or travelling we felt that me working full time would create a lot more logistical difficulties than it would solve. This means I have made the difficult decision to teach perhaps on a supply basis for now. Unless the perfect job in the perfect location appears I will start my course to re-train in October.

Re-training is both exciting and daunting, having consulted a career adviser I have decided to go for psychology with counselling in the hope that by the time Pixie gets to senior school I will have a BSc and be well on the way to getting my doctorate. The plan is to become an educational psychologist or counsellor. This allows me to use the teaching skills I already have, open up new career paths and hopefully help me with my writing as well.

The kids have had a quiet Easter holiday, poor old Hpops suffered with an ear and throat infection and was not feeling well for half the time. Imp had his surgery so wasn’t feeling well for a few days as well and Pixie has found herself itchy and snuffly thanks to the warm weather and high pollen count. Even so I can’t help feeling blessed. I have three lovely kids, a comfortable house, a husband who works hard for all of us and career options. Yes it will be hard work and I have no idea if it is the right decision! A little bit of me hopes the right teaching job will jump in front of me but sometimes you need to take a risk!

The last few years have hardly gone to plan but we have managed through all of it and I think despite the times when we felt like we were breaking apart we have come through it stronger. In some ways the new challenge will be welcome, I have pursued OU courses in sociology, creative writing, philosophy and psychology is an area I have always been interested in. I’ve never really known where to start apart form the GCSE I did ages ago. I have lots of books on the subject and watch far too many psychological thrillers and TV shows as well as reading lots of crime novels and thrillers so it should be a good fit! Hopefully over the summer I can get to grips with some of these books before everything kicks off in October as well as taking the kids out and about. The hope is that by the summer Imp will be back to full strength so watch out beaches, theme park and museums we intend to make up for last summer!

Incidentally have to mention Future Learn, they offer free courses from all sorts of sources and in all sorts of subjects. There are no examinations but many of them offer the opportunity to interact with other students! I have been completing the Forensic Psychology one which encourages you to solve a crime and others in the same area and find them fascinating and accessible! I have also been dabbling into the Very Short Introduction books and have decided that the best thing to do is start with number 1 Classics and work my way through them. Easy to read and with reading lists for those subjects that pique your interest they are a great way to discover more!

I was worried I was going to be bored in September with more time on my hands in term time, but now with study, writing, supply teaching and an abundance of reading to do I think I am in danger of running out of time! Life is challenging and many of my friends have been going through tough times and I know I am not looking forward to the next few months. Hpops leaving junior school fills me with dread. It is a big adventure going to senior school and I only hope we have chosen the right one for her and that she will be happy, because if she is happy she will do her best, and doing her best is what matters. Pixie enters the juniors and again I am not 100% sure she is in the right place, time will tell. Imp is more settled than this time last year and is happy but there is always tension about who the next teacher will be. H-pops has several big events, the summer play, leavers disco and taster day at her new school, meeting new classmates and teachers and learning to navigate around her new school. Here Pixie is at an advantage as she has grown up around the school she will be going to and if anything is in danger of being too confident!

As parents we too must attend meetings for the junior and senior school. Wearing a name badge with the name of your child and their new teacher is a strange experience and will be no less daunting this time around. We have no idea yet if Pixie will remain with any of her friends but we too have to wonder how we will get on with the other mummies and daddies. Perhaps we will meet people who will become life time friends or perhaps we will just nod politely at the school gate – who knows! Time will tell, but for sure the next six months are going to be interesting.

Operation again

This week was a big week, Imp had his operation to remove his metal work! Understandably he was very nervous before hand and had to be up very early to get to the hospital on time.

We got there and were shown to Imps’ bed and met the anaesthetist and SHO and did the consent forms and got Imp into his gown and as he was first on the list it wasn’t long before the porters arrived and wheeled him down to theatre. Mr T went with him while he went to sleep and then the wait began. Clock watching is never good but as soon as you step into the hospital time seems to move in a different way. The minutes crawled by and eventually we were given the message that Imp was in recovery.

It is always hard to watch someone arouse from an anaesthetic, Imp was in pain and not particularly communicative and thus morphine was administered to help him manage the pain. Also waiting for us was a rattly tin with the screws and plate that had been holding him together, something which we have still not looked at. After what seemed like an eternity but was actually 45 minutes we were allowed to go back to the ward. Imp was drowsy but soon the morphine would provide a sting in the tail!

We have discovered the Imp doesn’t really tolerate morphine very well and this meant staying in hospital until nearly 10pm and we were nearly there until the next day! Since being home he has made a rapid recovery. Eating and drinking normally, managing well on his crutches and experiencing less pain as he goes along and already asking if he can go outside on his crutches. Hopefully this will be one of the last hurdles he has to climb as if everything turns out OK Imp should not require further surgery. for the next six weeks however he has to avoid contact sports and running and then subject to the x-ray being OK he can return to usual activities following this.

In the meantime poor old Hpops has a very heavy head cold and has been feeling unwell with it and so is spending a day in bed, with two birthdays approaching I sense they will be more about infection control than celebrations at this rate but you never know, things may improve, I hope everyone will feel better and we can have some good old fashioned family time.

Prior to the op the kids had their stage show in a proper theatre! They were nervous but used the adrenaline to put in superb singing, dancing and acting performances. Mr T and I were super proud of all three of them, not to mention that at the same time they were keeping up with their school work, rehearsing for a school concert and music exam and preparing for Easter.

Writing is going well, the fist novel for children is now drafter and another planned. I am currently playing with a new publishing app and will see how that goes. I have been continuing with the sequel to Tumbling and have even managed to fit some teaching in as well! Currently all seems to be going well.

I have to say of late they have all made me very proud showing us, (in the main,) their best qualities and ensuring they are doing their best at all times. Keep it up kids!

New Year, New You?

I decided this year not to make any resolutions, last year I did and I didn’t achieve any of them, mainly because life got in the way. Imp was diagnosed with Perthes and that led to lots of things changing. Now I am not working formally and I am able to fit in all his appointments , and look after the new puppy but find it more difficult to settle to work. There is always a distraction, a level of candy crush here, a few pages of a book there, and oh is it time for lunch?

If there is one thing I want to improve it is getting down to business. I tend to try and exercise in the morning, spending the rest of the day sitting down writing is not going to keep me fit. After exercise I have to look after the house, three kids, two dogs take their toll! Then the new pup seems to be rather time consuming so after he has been worn out I can finally get some writing done. I also want to aim to learn the piano – yes still! Finding ten minutes per day to practice a couple of pieces and go through the limited scales I know seems to be difficult.

Then there are the appointments to fit in and the study. I am beginning to think that my desire to get a second degree may have to be abandoned as I want to prioritise the writing, by the time I sit down to write I can’t really do both at the moment. Whilst it would be a shame to do this I think that it would be even more of a shame if I failed to complete my writing because I kept putting it off.

I am aiming to write for at least 2-3 hours per day, maybe more some days and when I can at the weekend, this can be difficult because weekends are family time but increasingly the children are off out doing things and so I can write while I wait! Each week I look ahead to see what appointments I need to attend for school, what I need to get done for the house and then I can slot in the writing around that.

I seriously considered a part time teaching job, the regular income would be great and would allow me to maintain continuity on my CV but with the puppy, different holidays compared to my own kids and the desire to write I have decided to wait until this time next Year. This year is a big one. Imp will have more surgery, this will be confirmed in February. Hpops and Pixie have big school transitions. Pops moved to secondary school and Pixie to the juniors and so the next two terms will provide a lot of lasts as we say goodbye to KS1.

We welcomed a new puppy into the home and so for the next few months I am prime trainer so he is sure to be a disaster. He can start going for walks in the next couple of weeks so that should mean that mornings become more structured and free. It is odd as the family seems to be in flux at the moment, a time of change but at the same time I seem to be OK with it. New schools, animals and routines would normally send me into a spin but at the moment I have embraced it. I am still hoping the writing takes flight as for the first time in a couple of years I am not bringing home a regular salary to contribute to the family but instead relying on monthly royalties. Better get on with the novel!

In kids news Pixie, nearly 7 (the day after Christmas she worked out how long it was until her birthday!)lost her first tooth. She has been waiting for ages and never have I seen a child so determined to lose a tooth. She discovered it was officially wobbly on the 26th December, constant wriggling, demand for apples and so on and the tooth fairy had been by the 28th! No tears or tantrums just a determination to have the tooth gone!

So in some ways new year, definitely and to some extent a new me, not because of resolutions but because that is where life is taking me. I am hoping that it will bring good things for our family and for all of you. The thing I have learnt over the last couple of years is this, plan things, take opportunities but at the same time be flexible, things change and it is not always possible to do what you want, when you want but sometimes, just sometimes it works out for the best.

Snow Globe Alert

This year we were lucky enough to go to Euro Disney for a long weekend just before Christmas. It was the first time we have been out for an extended time as a family without the wheelchair. Imp managed very well with all the exercise and for us that is a huge improvement. He had been having some pain in his ‘good’ leg and we were growing concerned that it would turn out that his Perthes would be bi-lateral. At the moment that worry has abated somewhat, not entirely, time will tell.

We had a lovely time, thrill rides aplenty, we had tears from Pixie as she was too small for Space Mountain whereas during our trip to Florida she had been big enough. However, she was big enough for the Rock’n’Roller coaster which she wasn’t big enough for in Florida. She has now ridden a coaster which did a full loop and she loved it! We waved at Anna and Elsa as they preceded the Disney Christmas Parade which featured loads of the kids favourite characters and of course Father Christmas himself.

We had fantastic meals at the Rainforest Cafe, Planet Hollywood and fun filled character encounters at Chef Mickeys and the poshest restaurant in town in the company of mice, princes and princesses. The kids loved it and in the main were well behaved. Mr T got to put the world to rights in the Eurostar terminal as it was proven how terrible queue organisation can be, but that’s a whole other story.

We (and that is 19 of us or a whole boat on It’s a Small World) were all there thanks to the generosity of a very special friend. To thank her before the trip we had all agreed we should get her a suitable gift to say thank you and to give her a memento of the trip. It was decided that we would get her a snow globe, it featured plenty of Disney characters and played music and was a lovely piece. I ordered it, it arrived and was wrapped and placed in our luggage so that the recipient wouldn’t see it until the appropriate time.

Well that was what we thought… 2 out of the five of us had to be wander and patted down, luckily it proved to be nothing other than shoes and jewellery upsetting the scanners. As I walked over to the scanner to retrieve the bags I was asked if one of the bags was mine. Mr T stepped in to confirm that it was and it turned out that it had set the machine off. They sent the bag through again and I knew straight away it was going to be the globe but after they confirmed that as far as they were concerned there was something amiss the bag had to be unpacked. The items were put into plastic crates and sent back though until they confirmed that it was the rather large box, wrapped in heart paper that was setting the machine off.

We explained what was in the parcel and why it was wrapped and so on but they didn’t believe us, and kept telling us under their terms and conditions they could unwrap a preset. Eventually unwrapped it had to be. A few minutes later the wrapping was off, the box was open, the globe out and swabbed for explosives. Another machine then tested the swab and confirmed that indeed the globe was safe. Obviously I was ecstatic that the Disney product I had bought to thank our friend for our Disney holiday, and that we were planning to present her with while we were there surrounded by kids was safe. Several minutes after that we had re-sealed the globe and box and repaired the paper and re-packed the suitcase! Needless to say the others in our party had wondered why we were so late getting though and all found it hilarious once the globe was presented and the story told!

The fireworks show was great, images projected onto the castle featuring Olaf were wonderful and the music accompanying it made Pixie’s newly acquired light up Minnie bow change to an array of rainbow colours. Thanks go out to that special friend who took us and the rest of the group who helped us all make such wonderful memories.

Christmas pretty much crept on us this year. I had done all the preparations before we went away. As we were having dinner away from home for the first time in ages Christmas Eve comprised a trip to the cinema and a game of Trivial Pursuit, as well as catching up with friends and family. The children had a lovely time on the big day itself and were once again spoilt with lots of wonderful presents. We watched Dr Who in the evening and enjoyed another family day.

Tomorrow will bring yet more excitement. Following the sad loss of Tessa in September we had been considering what to do. We came to a decision in early December and our puppy B will be joining us tomorrow afternoon (weather permitting!). We have spent a fair amount of Boxing day making sure we all know how to deal with him and help to train him and ensure that our other older dog M doesn’t get forgotten and is established as top dog!

It is both exciting and daunting, we know he will be a lot of hard work but at the same time rewarding.

Imp’s hip is now in the re-growth phase of Perthes. This is good news and the operation to removed the metal plate in his leg has been moved forward to April. This will hopefully be the last op for a while and will not be as extreme as the others he has endured. This time there will no plaster trousers or prolonged wheelchair use. He played Joseph in the school Nativity and had to sing a solo which melted my heart, the video of which I have replayed on my phone time and time again!

We are all hoping that 2015 will be a better year for our family than 2014. Generally it doesn’t seem to have been that positive for many of our friends either as many have endured losses, illnesses or accidents that have had negative effects for them and their families. I take this opportunity to wish everyone a happy and healthy 2015.

If there is one thing I have learned from the events of this year it is to take as many chances as you can, yes it might go wrong but better to regret the wrong choice then miss out on the opportunity altogether. We are going to see Disney On Ice in Jan and April and Olly Murs in May as well as Take That in the summer, and if I have anything to do with it there will be some tennis viewing as well.

I am now back to writing having finished teaching for a while in November. Having committed to the puppy a couple of opportunities have arisen but I have had to say no as the kids have different hours and trying to manage them and myself adds more stress and by the time I have sorted someone out to look after the kids and the puppy there is very little money left. I have two novels in planning, a kids novel and one which I stated to write for national novel writing month. I am also in the process of editing the first draft of my first book for children and finishing the first draft of the sequel to Tumbling! This is a bit of a gamble and I am hoping that once the puppy is settled and Pixie and Hpops are secure in their new schools in September I can pick up some supply work or part time work around the writing.

My big dream is to write a couple of books for children that do well enough to mean that I don’t go back to conventional teaching, but instead go and run creative writing workshops for primary school children as this will allow me to write and teach.

The next few days should be interesting, and once the kids go back to school I am sure I will be able to blog more often as I intend to be writing every day. Watch the book shelves!

Double Figures

I’m not sure how it happened, I think I blinked and missed it but 10 years have slipped by since Hpops arrived in the world. Yesterday we celebrated her birthday with bowling and a meal out. She was thoughtful and chose things Imp could join in with. She enjoyed helping her friend celebrate her upcoming birthday as well by swimming in her pool. We had one mishap, we forgot to take her cake to the restaurant but as she chose a huge slab of chocolate fudge cake as her dessert, and it was accompanied by the loudest rendition of Happy Birthday you will ever hear I don’t think she minded too much.

I found getting her an appropriate present this year the hardest thing. they call it the tween years for a reason! She still likes rainbow looms, lego and hama beads but on her wish list alongside this were items such as hair straighteners, phone and make-up! The house to too valuable to allow her to have hair straighteners and some glittery make-up from Claire’s ticked that item off the list, then there was the pretty dress, books and perfume. We did give her a phone! Mainly because we can get it bundled into an existing contract not costing much, partly because she is going to longer parties with friends now and also she wants to talk to them and, if we’re honest because we couldn’t think of anything else that she wanted!

School holidays seem to be passing fairly quickly, all three of mine did a stage crazy summer school where they learned a couple of songs, a dance and a drama piece and then performed them on the last day. It was a revelation for Imp who found he really loved it, and much to Hpops disgust wants to start the weekly classes in the new term! Pixie was as confident as ever and performed with a big smile on her face! Hpops too seemed to enjoy herself, delivered her lines with enthusiasm and even began to sing with more confidence. For a while she has spent a lot of time singing around the house. Mr T, who loves all things music has laid down a track for her to sing to and on her birthday she finally did!

The result was fantastic, she was nervous but when Mr T popped the headphones over her ears she relaxed into it and let her singing come more naturally, we know she can learn to control her breathing better and develop her microphone technique but it has done wonders for her confidence! She has written a song for her and her siblings and whilst we just want her to enjoy herself and feel the joy music brings.

Pixie has been making the most of the holidays, she loves singing too and this week we took all three of them to see Matilda, as they were also looking at the songs from this during their summer school she hasn’t stopped singing them since. It was great to see them all agog when we watched the show. I have to give credit to the girls, they have been great so far this holiday, we have had the odd day out but nothing too far away as Imp cannot manage yet and they have accepted this and been supportive. They have come to physio and hydrotherapy appointments and part from a few little moans have been encouraging.

Imp is progressing well and can walk about 5 mins before he needs his wheelchair now, the battle is convincing him to do his three sessions of physio exercises each day. When we go out the wheelchair comes with us but we are all getting used to that now and we try to go to places where the activities we want to access are within a couple of minutes walk so we don’t have to take the chair with us. The next consultant appointment is looming, one part of me wants to know how the bone is doing and the other doesn’t, in case, as we fear, the bone is still disintegrating and so the overall time for recovery will lengthen once more! It will all become clear next week, fingers crossed for regrowth. I have finally finished the first draft of a book for kids that I have been trying to complete for a couple of years and now intend to go back to writing the sequel to my first book! Look for that by the time Hpops is a teenager! I am hoping to resume my psychology studies imminently as well!

Then we come full circle, to the realisation that we now have a child in double figures, about to enter her last year of junior school and everything seems to be changing again. It makes me realise that just when you think you have this parent, kid thing worked out they get older, hormones kick in and of course they develop minds of their own! I’m still learning how to deal with the new challenges life brings us, but at the same time enjoying it.

Cast Away

Just over three weeks ago Imp had his cast removed. It wasn’t as traumatic as we expected as despite him being very nervous the staff at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital were once again fantastic. They reassured him about everything and talked to him about what they were going to do. Once it was done Imp flexed his knees a couple of time but decided it was too painful to move. Off to X-ray next to see the results of the surgery.

After meeting with his consultant who was delighted with the way the surgery had gone and was prepared him to be weight bearing again we were off to occupational therapy to return the large wheelchair! This was replaced with the wheelchair we already owned and a frame to support his walking once he was confident. We were told he needed to get up and about and to allow him to do as much as he could and work with his physiotherapist and hydrotherapist to build the muscles back up and begin to walk unaided.

Slowly but surely after some tough love and tears when he couldn’t see we managed to get him up and walking, one stair at bedtime became the whole flight in a matter of days. A few days after coming out of the cast Imp decided he wanted to try a few steps on his own, to be honest it was like watching a baby take his first steps and the emotions no less immersing. He took two awkward steps and fell forward into a hug with a massive grin on his face. It was a milestone. More and more steps followed but perhaps the pinnacle of his achievement to date was his taking part in a school swimming gala just three weeks out of cast.

He was determined to join in and he took part in two races, yes he came last but when he had done his width he had a massive cheer from the parents watching. He had got into the pool unaided, hadn’t needed the pole to grab onto and hadn’t touched the bottom during the race and got out by himself! This was for us massive and as I watched him come back to his chair poolside I had to swallow a huge lump in my throat.

Throughout the process of everything he has approached it with a positive attitude, he has had a smile on his face and while there have been difficult moments I have watched him, in the main, grow in maturity as he learns to manage his disease by himself. Following the swimming gala there was a school fete, he took the decision to attend in his wheelchair as he wanted to avoid being knocked over. Knowing what you can do independently and what you need to ask for help with is all part of it. We won’t know how much progress he has made in terms of the Perthes until the 12th August when we next see his consultant and he has an X-ray. Until then he will be attending physiotherapy and hydrotherapy at least twice a week as well as completing exercises at home.

To say the Perthes turned our world upside down would be an understatement but we can finally see Imp getting stronger and stronger despite his physiotherapist telling us that he is now -5 steps compared to where he was before surgery we know with his determined nature he will battle back to fitness. He wants to be able to join in with his sisters and now he is more mobile he is getting back into arguments with them and enjoying playing with his toys and relishing his own private bedroom space.

It hasn’t all been doom and gloom of course, only yesterday we had a family get together to celebrate Grandpa’s birthday. For the first time all five of his grandchildren were in the same place at the same time. Hpops was beside herself with excitement as she got to cuddle, feed and generally coo over her baby cousins. Today was the summer gymkhana and Hpops tried hard with her riding. Imp on the other hand visited the Queen Elizabeth Park to go to the F1 Fanzone. A VIP ticket had been arranged for him by a friend who had told them about his struggles and watching the video of him whizzing about in a Caterham, pedalling a cycle claiming it was physio and hearing the excitement in his voice as he recounted the events of the day fills me with joy. As we were sitting in the house yesterday listening to the children play with Meccano cars they had played and laughing their heads off we paused to consider how lucky we actually are.

Three wonderful children, a boy who gets on with what life throws at him and tackles it head on with a smile, two beautiful girls who are growing in confidence and ability in all areas of their life. Fantastic friends who have between them lifted both me, Mr T and the kids when we are down and who have gone out of their way to make Imp feel special in a good way. We have felt blessed to have people to pour our hearts out to and next week we attend the Perthes’ association charity afternoon which will enable all of us to speak to people who have been on the same journey as us. I feel this will be especially important for the girls as they have had to make adaptions to accommodate Imp. We have taken the decision to try and do things that all three children can take part in and this has meant the girls not necessarily doing all the things they would like to! Even so the family unit is beginning to bond again, and I have to say as I write I do feel happy to have such lovely people surrounding us and caring for us and hope at some point I get to return their kindnesses and lovely thoughts as all the treats they have given Imp have helped to temper the bad memories with good ones and for that I will always be grateful.

Halfway there!

Just over three weeks ago Imp had his operation on his hip, we were worried and after a prolonged stay in hospital (5 days instead of 2/3) he has made good progress.

A fortnight in we visited the nurse at the GP’s for a wound check, they were happy with his progress, removed the steri strips and for the first time I could see the actual incision. It wasn’t as red as I thought and as all of his stitches are internal there was nothing scary about it. He was also relieved to see this as a lot of his anxiety has been around fear of the unknown and a big hole in his leg!

This week is half term but last week was enrichment week at school and Imp was able to attend for three of the days. He had a great time at the Lego workshop, the zoo visit and the Sir Teachalot Egyptian day as well as the social side of seeing his friends and engaging in conversations that didn’t revolve around having to move him, going to the toilet or eating. We have been out and about to the local shops and with the dogs as well.

We have discovered that people react to him in a few ways, they either ignore him completely, leap out of the way as if his plaster cast is contagious, bend down and talk to him as if he is an idiot, look away and fidget because they feel uncomfortable around him or, thank goodness, treat him like he is him! He may be in a wheelchair but he isn’t deaf, or contagious or invisible! Perhaps the worst habit is people talking about him as if he isn’t there. Imp has started to realise this for himself and has on occasion interrupted and spoken for himself and whilst I don’t allow him to be rude I am glad he is assuring himself and speaking for himself, as he has such a good understanding of what is going on he actually explains things better than me, and as he says, no-one else knows exactly how I’m feeling!

Most of his peers have accepted him as he is and arguments have broken out about who will push him around! There are a few who are reluctant to approach, more for fear of hurting him, although once I have explained he is more likely to hurt them if he runs them over then they usually feel better about him. Indeed it is adults that seem to react the worst, even staring, he and I are happy to answer questions and much prefer talking to staring. It has made me admire those who cope with long term of life long disability much more, I have only had a small dose of the ignorance of some people who cannot process those who are outside the ‘normal’ mode and that has been more than enough.

From a practical point of view we are coping well, we have devised a way of getting in and out of the car, he is beginning to be able to scoot around on the floor and transferring from place to place is getting easier and easier. My initial trepidation about being able to move him and get him where he needs to be has all but evaporated. Of course it takes extra time to get him to places, we can only fit him and the girls in the car so as a family of five we need two cars to get around or we tend to walk or stay at home. I have numerous grazes from his plaster cast and wheelchair having fought to secure him and it in the car but the smiles of achievement when he does something, gets to join in with something or even just has a few minutes out of the house make it all worthwhile.

Rain has played havoc with plans as he has anxieties about getting his cast wet after someone told him it would tun into play -do if he got it wet, but bin bags have proven to be a cost-effective way of going out in light rain and him not melting! I can’t pretend there haven’t been moments of frustration and annoyance both from him and me but each day is a day nearer to being rid of the cast, of course it isn’t a magic wand and it won’t cure his problem overnight but it will help.

Next week is his birthday and he is a bit upset about being in cast for it, we have bought lots of Lego which we hope he’ll like and a Kindle and he is off to Brands Hatch for Speedfest, something I had booked before we knew he needed his operation. I was worried when I found out about his op and thought that he wouldn’t be able to go but a quick call and his ticket was changed to allow him access to a grandstand seat with disabled access. We still don’t know if he can go to school for the next two weeks and from that point of view things have been awkward.

Imp and I both want to be as normal as possible, for me work has not been possible as i have been caring for him but I am hoping that if he returns to school I can return to work as we will both be based in the same place but we’ll see! Whilst we are not really counting down at the moment we will be once his birthday next week has been and gone and I am sure that as the day gets nearer excitement will start to build rather than the trepidation that took over before the operation. Of course there will be a certain amount of worry, there will still be a number of hurdles to jump over, the x-ray, the removal of the cast itself and the remaining recovery time be it on crutches, in a less cumbersome wheelchair or the physiotherapy and hydrotherapy but we are beginning to feel we are up to the challenge.

A final word has to go to the parents and supporters of the Perthes Association as the parents on there are very encouraging as well as a source of information. Imp is looking forward to the summer get together as in his words ‘I can meet people like me!’ It struck me how aware he must be of how different he is at the moment and how others are looking at him, it also struck me that while I have been suffering with cabin fever I have managed to escape for a run with Hpops and so on, he hasn’t been so lucky and so I pay tribute to his resilience and praise just how well he has coped with being so restricted. As much as I hate seeing him go through this I am also incredibly proud of him and as well as improved biceps he has shown me what a strong person he is! Well done Imp!

Perthes operation

My son Imp was diagnosed with Perthes disease in late December 2013, at the time it wasn’t considered to be too bad and was treated with hydrotherapy, physiotherapy and withdrawing from high impact activities such as football, rugby and running. This was for an active seven year old boy punishing enough but my little imp accepted it all with good grace and got on with it, continued to limp and yet seemed to enjoy his treatment particularly the hydrotherapy. I was amazed at how well he coped with so many of the things he loved to do being taken away so quickly. What struck us as well was how quickly he went from always being at the front of the queue and out in the lead when we went anywhere to having to rely on his wheelchair to get him up the hill from the local shops.

It was with some trepidation that we attended his three month check-up, we knew that the way Perthes progressed meant that in all likelihood the condition would worsen before it improved and that normality was unlikely to return to him for at least a year and possibly two. What we discovered however was that the femoral head had deteriorated to an extent that it was no longer contained in the hip. Our consultant therefore referred us to a colleague for a second opinion regarding surgery. Things moved quickly and within a week we were sitting in another hospital waiting room to meet the new consultant. He was to the point, examined imp and thought that surgery was necessary but to be sure needed an arthrogram which was performed 10 days later. The results were apparently good showing surgery would be a success and hopefully secure Imp a better long term outlook and healing.

The operation, a femoral osteotomy involved cutting a notch out of the femur, repositioning it and securing it with a plate and screws, and in Imps case keeping both hips abducted in a broomstick cast for 6 weeks. The surgery happened on the 1st May. The night before I hardly slept and during the morning before he went to theatre I was a wreck. I went into the anaesthetic room with him and he as fine until just before the anaesthetic went in when he began to panic. If I am honest I was terrified of seeing him after the operation, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to control my feelings when I saw him with his legs cast but when I did see him I held it together and it wasn’t as bad as I had feared.

the first night in hospital was horrific, imp was suffering cramps and somewhere in the small hours screamed his casts were squeezing him. Being in an orthopaedic hospital you become strangely used to hearing cries of pain but when it is your own son telling you to help him and squeezing your hands it becomes real. In the morning it was discovered that the leg was swollen and the cast needed to be split, this led to a full on panic attack, I held him and tried to reassure him but in the end I just had to be there for him. Pain relief was upped and in exhaustion he slept, I wept and then we started again. The cramps continued but the swelling reduced and Saturday proved to be a brighter day with Imp eating and suffering less with movement. Eventually he came home on Monday, it was a feat to get him in the car but we were so glad to have him home.

I had missed the girls terribly, they had been looked after wonderfully by their grandparents and been to visit Imp in the hospital but at last we were together which was comforting but also terrifying. Could we cope with moving him? What if the pain increased again? Could we handle the sleeping arrangements. We are only two days in but already Imp is only having paracetomal, he has his own bed and things around him. He has his beloved dogs and is slowly rediscovering his appetite. He has learnt to help to take his weight so he can now transfer from wheelchair to bed and back or to the sofa and so on so that one person can assist which means Mr T can return to work.

I fear boredom will begin to set in as he is now rather alert, he has been making the most of mine craft, TV, X-box and so on but we are now re-introducing some school work and we are hopeful that he will soon be able to attend again, even if on a part time basis, as it will help to keep us all same. We are all counting the days until the cast comes off, we know he may still have to use a mixture of crutches and wheelchair for a further six weeks, as well as resuming his physiotherapy and hydrotherapy regime but he seems to be showing great resilience so far. We are taking it each day at a time trying to ensure that we don’t push too hard but encourage him to go for the next step.

At this moment we have no idea how long the Perthes will take to be completely gone and how it will affect his hip long term, he could require further remodelling or even a hip replacement at some time but we are hopeful that the surgery he has just had will help to avoid these outcomes. Yes I will always remember those dark hours in the hospital when his little face was screwed up in panic and pain, but hopefully he won’t, hopefully he will realise that we did the best we could for him and helped to support him through what will undoubtedly be the hardest thing he has dealt with so far in his little life. Not to mention having to support the girls and ensure that they can express their feelings.

We have been blessed with lovely friends and family who have rallied around with offers of help and have made not only him feel special, spoiling him with cards and gifts as but helped me by responding to my desperate posts on Facebook with messages of support. It means more than people realise to see and x and know someone has read what you have written and thought of you, even for a few seconds and felt some empathy. The messages for Imp himself brought rare smiles in those first couple of days and now he seems so much more settled it seems odd thinking back to just a week ago! There is still a long road ahead but for now we are grateful he is over the surgery itself and can now heal and recuperate.

Thanks also to the Perthes Association, a small charity that supports families with children suffering from this condition offering lots of advice and support, the people on there certainly helped us to prepare for the surgery and coming home. I have also to say that the staff at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital were very good and supportive, they listened to us and took action where necessary and got us through the dark days.

For those of you who’d like to know more about Perthes have a look at the Perhtes Association website and in the interests of fundraising if you feel you can help please text PERT10 (£10 or change the number to whatever you can afford) to 70070.

Life is full of opportunities but also likes to catch us out as my little Imp has discovered but as he looks forward to getting his cast signed and returning to school I marvel at how brave he is, how he accepts the situation and gets on with it in a way I think I never could and I pray for the patience and strength to give him the support he needs in the harder times. Count down to cast off and walking again starts here…

Then there was me…

The holidays, for once seem to have flown past and the house is less chaotic, slightly tidier and a lot quieter. It was strange dropping them off today, smart, with hair done but yet, true to form Hpops had managed to leave her pencil case behind having taken it out to put something in and then rushing out the door! Imp, slightly nervous and looking very small in the playground enters his junior years, but soon found a friend to chat to. As I have made my way home and carried out the housework unimpeded and in half the time it has taken over the last few weeks I have thought about them, hoping their days are going well and that they are enjoying their day with their new teachers.

This year as well for a change the weather was fabulous for the holidays, at the beginning of them each child made a list of the places they would like to visit or the activities they would like to participate in and this helped shape our action plan. Visits were made to Frinton, Legoland and Chessington World of Adventures. We have been to London several times so Imp could walk along Pudding Lane and go up the steps of the Monument as his imagination had been captured after learning about the Great Fire of London. We saw great theatre shows; Wicked, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Stomp as well as attending a prom at the Royal Albert Hall aimed at children and getting to meet Tony Ross afterwards. There were the usual squabbles, he said, she said, kicking balls over the fence and a few rainy days, not to mention the more boring tidy ups, clean outs and school shopping trips but all in all this holiday I felt the best able to cope. The kids now seem more compliant, slightly less likely to disappear and more likely to be interested in what is going on around them. They have enjoyed the days out as well as the more simple trips just riding their bikes around and playing with their friends.

This year we stayed in the UK for our holiday and spent five lovely days in the New Forest. We cycled, trekked, canoed and hiked. The kids got to learn about cars, hold non-stinging (yes they exist!) jellyfish and see wild animals in a natural habitat and they loved it. They fished in rock pools, unsuccessfully, ate too much junk and got to do their first coastal cliff walk, although Imp and Pixie had to be held at all times – no telling with those two then they will decide to do something daft! So all in all when school finally rolled around today it was with a mixture of pride and sadness that I wished them a good day, one of those bittersweet moments of parenthood when they see one of their friends and rush off without a care, having been holding your hands nervously just a few moments before.

I have started a new adventure as well, teaching two days a week and aiming to write a couple of days a week with a bit of study and family admin in between! The story I have been writing for the kids is almost completed in first draft and the sequel to Tumbling Through is roughed out and ready for work! I am slightly nervous about teaching on my own but have prepared and I am sure once I get there and start talking it will all be OK! One of the things that the children did love was going into school with me a couple of times whilst I was preparing, a few of the other staff were about but the playground was deserted! As we all make a new start this September I look forward to the future, but can’t help feeling a little sad that the kids are growing up so fast, roll on next summer for more timetable free adventures, for now we are on school time!