When I was not much older than Hpops I had life sorted. I was going to be a teacher, get married, have two children – a boy and a girl, and write a book for children and make my million allowing me to live in a big house with a huge willow tree with a bench underneath it!
So – I am a teacher, I have written a book, although it is for adults and written the first draft of a book for children, however millions – not even in pennies and I have realised how naive the idea of making millions from writing is. Instead of two children I have three although we do have at least one boy and one girl. The house is large but the willow is an oak and the azalea I fell in love with in our old house is still missing and there is no bench underneath! We are putting a willow tunnel in the garden for the kids so that sort of counts, can sit in it I guess!
I am still writing! The draft of the kids books needs typing and Tumbles 2 is well underway. I have two other books in note form, one for tweens. This is the book that I have always wanted to write since I was small and now have the experience and research to support it. The issue – even when it is written I am not sure I will be able to release it – what if no-one likes it? The book that I feel has been my best idea ever. To be honest I am not sure I can afford to worry about that, I want to write, maybe I even need to write it before I can move forward. I have another book I stated waiting for National Novel writing month and although I hit the word count I never finished it!
The problem is I am a self-professed prevaricator and so to solve this I have started setting myself time limits. It is the one way I can ensure I knuckle down to something and get it done. I have added an app on the phone and i-pad which tells me off if I miss a deadline and so no more prevaricating! Perhaps the most exciting development of recent days is the one I have made to re-train. I love teaching and the energy the children bring. I love it when they ‘get’ something and I know I have helped them to get it but for now it isn’t working.
The kids need me at the moment, Imp has his Perthes to contend with. This is on the mend and hopefully following his Easter surgery he should be able to return to everyday activities on the 12th May. He will still require physiotherapy and perhaps some hydrotherapy while his hip continues to recover. Who knows he may even require further surgery but at the moment things are healing well and we hope he will avoid it! Pixie is moving on to junior school this September and Hpops to senior school! Despite this their holidays still differ and so to work full time is difficult and with the puppy not necessarily the best choice. I have looked at a couple of schools with job share opportunities but with Mr T working long hours or travelling we felt that me working full time would create a lot more logistical difficulties than it would solve. This means I have made the difficult decision to teach perhaps on a supply basis for now. Unless the perfect job in the perfect location appears I will start my course to re-train in October.
Re-training is both exciting and daunting, having consulted a career adviser I have decided to go for psychology with counselling in the hope that by the time Pixie gets to senior school I will have a BSc and be well on the way to getting my doctorate. The plan is to become an educational psychologist or counsellor. This allows me to use the teaching skills I already have, open up new career paths and hopefully help me with my writing as well.
The kids have had a quiet Easter holiday, poor old Hpops suffered with an ear and throat infection and was not feeling well for half the time. Imp had his surgery so wasn’t feeling well for a few days as well and Pixie has found herself itchy and snuffly thanks to the warm weather and high pollen count. Even so I can’t help feeling blessed. I have three lovely kids, a comfortable house, a husband who works hard for all of us and career options. Yes it will be hard work and I have no idea if it is the right decision! A little bit of me hopes the right teaching job will jump in front of me but sometimes you need to take a risk!
The last few years have hardly gone to plan but we have managed through all of it and I think despite the times when we felt like we were breaking apart we have come through it stronger. In some ways the new challenge will be welcome, I have pursued OU courses in sociology, creative writing, philosophy and psychology is an area I have always been interested in. I’ve never really known where to start apart form the GCSE I did ages ago. I have lots of books on the subject and watch far too many psychological thrillers and TV shows as well as reading lots of crime novels and thrillers so it should be a good fit! Hopefully over the summer I can get to grips with some of these books before everything kicks off in October as well as taking the kids out and about. The hope is that by the summer Imp will be back to full strength so watch out beaches, theme park and museums we intend to make up for last summer!
Incidentally have to mention Future Learn, they offer free courses from all sorts of sources and in all sorts of subjects. There are no examinations but many of them offer the opportunity to interact with other students! I have been completing the Forensic Psychology one which encourages you to solve a crime and others in the same area and find them fascinating and accessible! I have also been dabbling into the Very Short Introduction books and have decided that the best thing to do is start with number 1 Classics and work my way through them. Easy to read and with reading lists for those subjects that pique your interest they are a great way to discover more!
I was worried I was going to be bored in September with more time on my hands in term time, but now with study, writing, supply teaching and an abundance of reading to do I think I am in danger of running out of time! Life is challenging and many of my friends have been going through tough times and I know I am not looking forward to the next few months. Hpops leaving junior school fills me with dread. It is a big adventure going to senior school and I only hope we have chosen the right one for her and that she will be happy, because if she is happy she will do her best, and doing her best is what matters. Pixie enters the juniors and again I am not 100% sure she is in the right place, time will tell. Imp is more settled than this time last year and is happy but there is always tension about who the next teacher will be. H-pops has several big events, the summer play, leavers disco and taster day at her new school, meeting new classmates and teachers and learning to navigate around her new school. Here Pixie is at an advantage as she has grown up around the school she will be going to and if anything is in danger of being too confident!
As parents we too must attend meetings for the junior and senior school. Wearing a name badge with the name of your child and their new teacher is a strange experience and will be no less daunting this time around. We have no idea yet if Pixie will remain with any of her friends but we too have to wonder how we will get on with the other mummies and daddies. Perhaps we will meet people who will become life time friends or perhaps we will just nod politely at the school gate – who knows! Time will tell, but for sure the next six months are going to be interesting.